home & hebrews

Two girls home on a school day, nestled under old quilts, drinking warm herbal tea with lots of honey to soothe raw throats. This isn't quite how I envisioned the day to come, yet I exhale deep, and begin to see the blessing in it all. 

Rest. 

Calm. 

Slowing down. 

Together.

As we go about our lives, turning pages on the calendar like a gripping novel we can't put down for a second, I wonder if we begin to think that God only speaks to us in certain places, specific spaces? Are we limited by location, surroundings, company? Is time a confinement and holiness a physical space with walls and altars and spotlights? Are we bound in some contextual way that hinders our exposure to the throne room? 

never so...NEVER is it so. because of Jesus.

 So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

Looking down at my feet, toes pressed against the coffee table, I know this is holy ground in the family room between these two bundled girls. 

He's here. 

I flip open the scriptures to Hebrews and start where I left off the morning before. The three of us, girls listening in, walk through the record of the faithful ones, recalling each individual account, imagining ourselves right there as witnesses. How great and majestic and magnificent and wondrous is our Father! We talk about faith, holding onto the promises God gives us with assurance of their fulfillment because we serve a faithful God. And how faith is a way of living in believing more than it is a defined set of beliefs. 

These two precious gift-girls fling open their hearts and wonder over a wonderful God and His wondrous ways, prompting questions too mysterious for human reasoning to satisfy. To be taken in by the wonder and anticipation of it all, I realize, is far better than having the answers. So I run where their imaginations and dreams take us, and revel at the beauty of it all being about a Savior who came to us so that we can freely come to Him, unhindered and undaunted. 

Because He loves us...really loves us. 

Fill us with a revelation of Your Love, Father, who never holds back from His children. Help us to live a life of faith, living in believing. Trusting You. You've GOT this figured out! Strengthen us to step out in joy and courage as we run after You!


 

even here

shocking. 

confoundedly shocking.

what is time but water rushing past on rocky riverbed,

sand slipping through fingers desperately clinching fistfuls only to lose what it tries to grasp.

every single day. 

week.

month passing.

year gone by.

shocking.

tonight i find myself walking through the quiet, dusty halls of this space, reading words this girl-heart tapped out so many months, years ago and am comforted in the familiarity of the rhythms in this one life of mine. 

so much is the same

and yet, 

it is so very different.

what a beautiful God.

my heart is full tonight...heavy from emotion, soothed by merciful faithfulness.

so thankful for these words scribbled on evenings just like this.

every single day.

week.

month passing.

year gone by

You are here with me. 

Thank you, loving gracious Father, for being with me...even here. You truly, unceasingly amaze me. Your love endures forever.

a mother's day

"Let's go somewhere the kids can kick off their crocs and play in a shallow river or stream, hop rock to rock, feel the slime of moss between their toes. Let's go somewhere they can climb trees, skip rocks, climb boulders, and explore trails. Let's enjoy a spring evening outdoors with fresh air, flowing water, and the possibility of adventure. Let's be together, enjoy each other...outside. And I want to take pictures of it all, as it unfolds."

"That's what you want to do for Mother's Day?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

He is the best husband for me. I do not wake to a heart necklace of gold and silver, restaurant reservations or a spa certificate. No bouquet of red roses, a new kitchen appliance or expectations of a day of relaxation alone. Instead, he asks, and I spill ideas from a treasury of dreams, displaying vulnerable girl-giddiness with undetectable longing for acceptance. He understands, nods...easily accepts. Accepts me and embraces all that makes me different, every day.
I inner-battle tirelessly to be and have and do as I see in others around me, fighting to be normal. Yet I have been created by the One who made me specifically in this way, for this time and this place, set apart. To easily accept limitations, dreams, is a freedom I am desperate for, run towards. My hope is in Him in whom all things live and move and have their being.
When I remember this truth, resting in that freedom becomes easier. Slowly, I begin to realize who places limitations and confining parameters on who it is that I am.

Me.

~~~

our adventure on a mother's day

::surroundings::


::exploring::




::wandering::

Father, my freedom is in knowing who You are - Your character, Your love, Your forgiveness, Your grace that untangles and smooths over the knots. Let the song on my lips be " I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free." Free indeed.

mondays are for...

a tea party with fuzzy friends,


painting,


adding details to a cat condo project,


a science experiment,


being outdoors,


planting Easter flowers,


preparing the grocery list for a week full of meals,

and now comes afternoon with a rest for the wee one, neighborhood friends knocking, playing and jumping, singing and dancing, dinner preparations and hubby returning, family meal with bike ride following, baths and showers, books and prayers, goodnight wishes and kisses, stretching and worship, snuggling and rest.

all in one day.

possibly the best day of my life.

and then i get to live it all over again

with slight variations.

yes, possibly the best day of my life.

Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.

I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you. Psalm 63:3-5

continuing Gratitude List #169-187

love & light

before we must move on from valentine's day (0h, have you already?), my heart swims in shades of red and pink full of hearts and smiles and lots and lots of craftiness. it's one of my favorites, especially with kiddos.

time to let go of what has passed. again. and keep moving on. but for now, i savor these images just one more day.
or maybe two.





Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
Psalm 23:6

earlier this week, morning light casting through these rooms captivated attention and awe.

i am chasing SONlight in these spaces, some more tangible than others. when darkness peels back and light so gently, yet piercingly, exposes all that is hidden and dormant, i sing praises to the One who forgives, heals, redeems and satisfies this life of mine. meanwhile, tears fall, this raw heart cries out for grace, forgiveness, help. and He is near. always.

Lord, give me a heart and a mind to diligently seek after You.

carpool line

we're a little under the weather as another damp cold front moves in tonight. praying for peaceful, restful sleep as we heal.

let's rewind to the end of last school week, shall we?
thinking about the fun antics, crazy imaginative ideas, and loads of pretending in carpool line while claire and i wait for kindergirl to rejoin us...

167. having a point&shoot camera just when i need one (tucked away and forgotten about in the car after a skating party). claire loves to have her picture taken (can i hear an amen?)

168. knowing that a funny face can only be made with one leg up in the air (have you not heard? well, consider yourself informed.)

what did i tell you? this is proper funny-face position. practice at home before attempting in public.

i, on the other hand, am limited by space (long legs and steering wheel do not mix) and cannot properly demonstrate the proper position. so, instead, i offer this...

thank you, claire, for this flattering and persuasive shot. it was all to prove a point. a funny face isn't funny unless one leg is up in the air. period.

by the way, this is what everyone else is doing in carpool line as they wait, right???