Reach Out

From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and
he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.

God did this so that men would

seek him

and perhaps

reach out for him

and find him,

though he is not far from each one of us.

'For in him we live and move and have our being.'

Father, having determined the time and place for my life, You give me purpose. every day, every hour i am surrounded with reasons to seek You...reach out for You...find You. teach me, prompt me, compel me to seek You first, always.

Miracle Baby

"Mommy, was I a miracle baby?" prompts preschooler over lunch.

"Yes, you were a miracle baby," i reply with a smile growing in anticipation, waiting to hear the words...

"Tell me the story."

closing eyes, i purposely dust away cluttering thoughts of partially composed emails, menu ideas, the day's schedule and make room for a focused retelling of my favorite story.

"A long time ago, doctors told me i could not have babies because my uterus is very small, too small for a baby to grow in, " I begin.

"and when i heard what the doctors said, i was very, very sad because all i ever wanted to be was a mommy. since i was younger than you, all i wanted to be when i grew up was a mommy."

"i cried for many days, weeks. cried and prayed."

a slight tightness presses against my chest, quickening breath, expanding belly twice swollen with another's heart, bones, blood, life...but now empty.

how quickly i return to that recovery bed in hospital. eyes blurred, thoughts slowed by anesthesia. surgeon forecasting a future opposed to dreams.
heart shattering.

from deep inside, a long breath escapes.
that was then.

now i gaze into the eyes of this beautiful, bright, lovely, healthy, growing little girl. girl child full of life, her name's sake. life itself. a miracle beyond understanding, beyond physical limitations. offspring from a body that should not have been able to handle the weight, volume, expansion.

i continue the story.
"during that time, God gave me hope in my heart, peace in my mind, and a song on my lips."
He laid a blanket of peace over my dreams, and they slept. for years they hibernated deep within, undisturbed.

during the spring of my 26th year, dreams awoke.
Gentle Thinker agreed, it was time.

"then one day God placed you in my belly to grow. i was so surprised, overjoyed, humbled. He chose me to be your mommy! you were growing inside me and i could feel you, begin to know you."

one day this story will expand with details a mind of four years cannot yet understand: one ovary, one fallopian tube, half a uterus, half the blood supply; inadequate placenta, drastically decreasing amniotic fluid; how her tiny body sacrificed continuing growth to save, protect her developing brain and so, so much more.

"you are a miracle. what the doctors said was impossible, God made possible. and look at you now!"

steeping in the words of her beginnings, preschooler declares, "yes! and claire is a miracle baby too!"

"yes, she is. one day we will tell her the story of being a miracle baby." sisters growing up knowing their story...how God personally authored the beginning of their lives.

i wonder if other mamas around the world pull their children close, gaze into their eyes and tell the story of being a miracle baby. for it's all so amazing, isn't it? how God personally authored the beginning of every life?


Author of Life, humble me with the bigness, greatness of You. for you created my daughters' inmost being; You knit them in my womb. i praise You because they are fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, i know that full well.

photo: our first miracle baby